i did want to take your hand
the sequel trilogy has a lot of interesting motifs in it, but i think my favorite running theme throughout the three films is centered around hands. there is a huge emphasis on hands throughout the trilogy, especially in regards to Rey's heart. accepting someone's hand is a huge theme when it comes to rey's relationships in the trilogy, and the first glimpse we get of it is in The Force Awakens, when Finn takes her hand on Jakku, which doesn't initially go over very well, with Rey being extremely combative towards it (iirc, this video essay - which i highly recommend - also goes over how this sequence is part of Rey's heroine journey).
I know how to run without you holding my hand.
It's something of a running gag in the Jakku chase, of Finn grabbing her hand to try and lead Rey to safety, while Rey complains about it and yanks her hand away every time, until the explosion knocks them both off their feet, at which point the script states:
Rey is an incredibly guarded individual, especially at the start of the trilogy. She's been burned by people in the past (further expanded upon in Before the Awakening and the sting of her parents' abandonment result in Rey being hesitant to downright hostile at the idea of letting anyone in, or taking their hand. Finn worms his way in her heart because he's Finn c'mon try not loving Finn because of his genuine care for her that's so foreign to Rey after years of fending for herself, that they go on to become bonded cats (do not separate).
But I do think what's crucial here is that Rey doesn't take Finn's hand, she offers her own. This is something of a theme for Rey within her relationships and especially friendships that we see in the films: earlier in the film, she offers a helping hand to BB-8, and then in TROS, this scene is mirrored (somewhat) with Zorii. Rather than continue their battle, Rey offers Zorii her hand and her friendship instead:
At this point in time, accepting someone's hand is a level of vulnerability that Rey can't commit to, though she can let people in by offering them hers instead: a nice way to remain in control of the situation.
But of course, that reluctance and control needs to be obliterated for the sake of character development, which leads me into TLJ, where I think the subtle not-exactly-love-triangle begins to take root, especially when it comes to foils.
From the beginning, Poe and Kylo Ren are posed as foils (the whole trio is, actually, but this meta is focused on Rey's relationships with Poe and Ben so that's what we'll be focused on). Kylo is a high ranking Dark Sider, Snoke's protege, and he's after the map that leads to Ahch-To, and (hopefully) Luke. Poe is a high ranking Resistance officer, Leia's protege, and he's after the map that leads to Skywalker.
We're not exactly subtle about the similarities. I mean, Poe and Ren's first interaction in the entire trilogy begins from Ren losing his temper and killing Tekka, and Poe going into a rage and trying to kill Ren for it (see: the novelization for The Force Awakens). Foils. Right down to the fact that they have similar scars: Poe's from his time aboard the Finalizer, which is in about the same place that Ren's is from Rey on Starkiller.
And that placement is something that TLJ is very eager to visually remind us of, by putting both Poe and Ren in medical rooms, and emphasising their respective scars, in scenes that are back to back with each other:
(This scar motif is going to be important later, so keep it in mind).
TLJ also goes out of its way to show Poe and Leia coming up with the same plan, practically finishing each other's sentences, on opposite ends of the Raddus at the same time, right before Leia has her Force Bond moment with Ben.
And if Rey's relationship with Ben has a strong theme about Rey letting go of her fears, and accepting the darker parts of herself, then it's interesting that Poe is given the beacon that will "light Rey's way home" to keep safe throughout the film. It's a subtle push and pull, narratively.
Which rounds us back to hands. The Last Jedi pushes Rey out of her comfort zone, and forces her to confront that Kylo Ren is not simply just a monster for her to seek vengeance on and beat (much like Luke has to learn with Vader in the original trilogy), but someone she identifies and empathizes with: she loathes Kylo Ren, but she more she learns and sees of Ben Solo (who she brings out more and more with each Force Skype), the more she grows to care for him.
After she learns the truth of what happened that night on Ossus, and she goes into the cave under the island, Rey has a heart-to-heart with Ben and opens up emotionally with him about how lonely she feels, how abandoned she's felt by her parents. It's a level of vulnerability we rarely see from Rey, and I think it's interesting that, like with Finn in the first film, she offers her hand to Ben.
Rey is constantly reaching out, out of a need for connection, and I think some level of control as well. And when they touch hands, Rey catches a glimpse of Ben's future: that he'll one day stand with her, something that obviously deeply affects her (coming back for her is the ultimate thing one can do to truly prove they love her, to Rey, which all three fellas do in the trilogy!).
So, after this, Rey ships herself to Snoke's ship to try and bring Ben back to the Light to rejoin her on the side of the Resistance to turn the tide of the war. Also because she cares for him deeply, and wants to be with Ben.
Unfortunately, this is the case of the right person, wrong time, and it's also the second film in the trilogy, so Ben rejects that notion and instead offers her a place to rule the galaxy with himself, and he does so by offering Rey his hand.
Rey is clearly tempted, and starts to reach out for him - but it's a ploy to retrieve the lightsaber to escape. But, as we learn in the next film, Rey did want to take Ben's hand - she just won't sacrifice her own morality to do so.
Which brings us back to the other half of this love/foil triangle: Poe.
There's a lot more going on narratively with him and Rey in TLJ: and Rian is an extremely deliberate filmmaker, so you know there's an intent to things like Poe being the one to keep the beacon (rey) safe for most of the film, the smashcut from Rey being tortured to Poe waking aboard the transport, and Poe telling her he knows who she is after she's been shaken up after Kylo stuffed both boots and gloves in his mouth with his "you're not nothing to me" speech -- but all of those things have been discussed and analyzed plenty before.
What hasn't been discussed, to my knowledge, is that the first thing Poe does when he meets Rey is that he offers her his hand.
And Rey takes it.
This is, I think, the first example in the trilogy of someone offering Rey their hand, and she takes it instantly. Until she takes Ben Solo's hand right before she kisses him in TROS.
Which could mean nothing!
The Throne Room also effectively connects the hand motif with the scar motif between these three, with Rey collecting a scar of her own, which coincidentally, looks like two hands reaching for each other, but not quite connecting:
After Crait, Rey covers this particular scar with an arm cuff so she doesn't have to look at it. Interestingly, the only person to ever touch Rey exactly where that scar is...is Poe
Poe, who incidentally, gets his own arm scar, on the arm opposite that Rey's is, which - again - could mean nothing!
TROS also has quite a few hand moments in it: there's the scene right after Pasaana where Finn tries cheering Rey and Poe up by holding hands, something Poe drags his feet about and clearly amuses Rey (look how fond her expression is).
Then, aboard Ren's ship, Kylo offers her his hand again, and Rey declines, leading up to the moment on Kef Bir where she tells him that she did want to take his hand - Ben's hand. She never wanted Ren, she wanted Ben Solo.
Way back when, I read a fantastic meta about how Zorii was a great mirror for Ben: she comes across as a bad person in a mask, but then she drops the mask in favor of showing how there's still light inside her (helping the Resistance) that comes out when she's around someone she deeply cares for (Poe).
And I think that Ben/Zorii connection is extremely important here, because it's yet another way that Poe and Rey's character arcs in TROS mirror one another: they both must confront people they loved in the past but had to divert from in order to remain true to themselves. Right person, wrong circumstance.
Alex Segura's Free Fall doubles down on the parallel, by outright having Poe and Zorii experience their own equivalent of the Throne Room proposal:
And of course, both Zorii and Ben return to the fight at Exegol, right as Poe and Rey are respectively losing their faith in their ability to pull off a victory, and help change the tide for them.
Afterwards, Rey and Poe are able to get some form of closure from the relationships that could have been that have clearly haunted them for so long, and finally got to fight side by side with them like they've wanted to:
So, with the past behind both of them, we return to Ajan Kloss.
And here, I want to return to Finn for a moment. The war is over, the past is finally let go of, and we're looking forward to the future, and I think this is best encapsulated by Finn when he's alone in the crowd: he looks around at what they've built, and then he looks forward:
He looks forward towards Rose, symbolically representing his future.
This bit of framing is important, because once Rey returns to the Resistance base, it's Poe who notices Rey first, directly ahead of him, and vice versa, he's directly ahead of her:
They embrace, and that leaves us with Rey and Poe's final interaction in the trilogy, which is the hug, but most importantly, where Poe takes Rey's hand and she accepts it.
He also gently strokes her hand which kills me, but that's neither here nor there.
So, what does this all mean? Well...probably nothing. But I think Rey and Poe's dynamic is one of the most fascinating ones in the trilogy, given how much the narrative builds it up and constantly mirrors both characters together, and as far as I can tell, this is almost entirely organic. I don't think there was ever a deliberate intent to put them together, until after The Last Jedi, wherein the possibility became very real that they could: and to date, Poe is the second relationship most often pushed for Rey in official media, with a strong focus on their friendship in nearly everything that's come out since the Last Jedi.
And while it was never confirmed to be legit (I think), allegedly Duel of the Fates would've put them together, and I think you can see hints of that still in the final version of the film that we did get: the fun banter that both clearly enjoy, the way that they both challenge each other and push each other towards development, how Poe routinely and subtly grounds Rey in the film, how in the junior novelization, she thinks of how Poe was tortured before losing control in the desert, etc etc -
I think it's fair to say that there is a subtle implication being drawn that there's something between Poe and Rey, based off the three films. I think it would make perfect sense if, post Rise of Skywalker, they ended up together romantically. I do fully believe the text supports that, and all it needs is to be allowed to flourish on-screen (or on paper) from the groundwork subtly woven into the Sequel Trilogy.
Whether or not I think that'll ever happen canonically depends on my mood, but regardless of what comes after, I'll always believe they do wind up together, sometime after Exegol.